No Longer a Peter Pan Romantic

It was such a relief to have come home last Friday from a hard day's work and find that I was nominated.  Wanting this experience for the past five years, I thought it wise to record the attitudes and emotions I've harbored to get to this point.

It all started with a childhood obsession.

The decision to apply to the Peace Corps was confronted with my long-term obsession comparing myself to the captivating children’s figure, Peter Pan.

 
My favorite children’s figure is Peter Pan because he’s all knowing, confident, daring, and independent. The greatness of his character relies on his ability to address any situation with confidence. And if he doesn’t have a solution, he’s willing to improvise. That’s the kind of person you want serving in the Peace Corps.

That’s not exactly the type of person I am. I can be confident and resourceful, but I’m not willing to improvise all the time, especially with a topic I know nothing about.

Furthermore, tackling every opportunity is not a skill I’ve chosen to cultivate. If there’s a definite positive outcome to my actions, I’m on board. But to jump on the boat in case I learn something or meet someone on the off chance that might lead to something promising, I typically decline.

But there are cons about Peter Pan. He’s forgetful and lacks follow through. While those attributes may seem insignificant to a little boy who wants only new adventures, they’re important as a Peace Corps Volunteer to build strong foundations with other people in the community and to enact meaningful solutions to real-world situations.

In the novelized Peter Pan, Peter lacks heart. All he has is adrenalin. So although that kind of drive might take him farther than I could ever go, his lack of heart would have him running around in circles.

The same Peter that lacked heart captured my heart so long ago. But this infatuation doesn’t serve me well. After much reflection on what I need to mentally prepare for the Peace Corps, Peter Pan no longer serves as my role model because he lacks the motivation to balance between adrenalin and heart. 

But he does serve as a reminder to establish boundaries around what I can do and what I’m willing to do in hopes of someday acknowledging my ability to overcome them.

XOXO,

No longer a Peter Pan romantic