One Saturday morning, I taught second year English speaking to my university students. One of my students came late and excused her lateness on the man that was harassing her on the bus. I was appalled. She then told the class two more stories about the harassment she experienced while riding the bus. I gave her some tips to deal with that. The whole class seemed curious as to why I would have tips. Apparently, harassment is very common here. It’s common in America, too, but I know many Americans who would stand up for themselves and attempt to stop the harassment. I asked my student what she did when this happened. She said she was afraid. He kept talking to her. She felt uncomfortable the whole time, but did nothing.
The students then said they’ve never been taught to stand up for themselves, excusing harassment as an everyday occurrence like traffic or bad weather conditions. I don’t think that’s right. Any kind of harassment is not okay, so I, of course, discussed with the head of the English Department about the possibility of holding some sort of workshop to teach these girls how to stand up for themselves and to teach these boys how to be allies. He seemed on board. I felt good.
That afternoon, I told one of my friends about my idea, and she doubted the potential of Indonesian students to learn how to stand up for themselves. She basically said sexual harassment is not a good topic for this passive culture. I should choose a softer topic. They will feel embarrassed and uncomfortable, and will be shy to attend. She said my students, who I’ve taught for over a year, would run away from me.
It that true? It’s hard to believe that the students with whom I’ve worked so hard to develop a relationship would run away from me just because I want to discuss a very sensitive topic. I know they will be embarrassed and uncomfortable, but this is an embarrassing and uncomfortable topic. They should feel that way. They need to be given the tools to deal with this problem.
I’ve been raised to embrace the idea that if a topic makes you uncomfortable, you should explore it. Broaden your perspective. Discuss ideas that can potentially make you smarter about the world. I know the Indonesian upbringing is not the same, but my students can, at least, learn how to think this way. As a Peace Corps volunteer, I’m planting seeds. A revolution will not happen overnight. I know this, but a lot more can happen in the next few years if I do this than if I don’t. I must try. I owe it to my Peace Corps service to try as much as I can in the next seven months.
But my friend was right. My students may run away from me. The challenge is not to make this seem like I’m blaming anyone or that I’m trying to completely change Indonesian culture, which can be passive sometimes. How can I integrate the confident, always curious perspective of the world into Indonesian culture? Sure this won’t work in every aspect of Indonesian culture, but I’d like my students to, at least, be able to stop a harasser. They have that potential.
Sunday, October 25, 2015
Thursday, October 22, 2015
The A Key
My A key has been giving me so much trouble for the past few months. Hell, my whole computer has been trying to kill my cool. Obviously it’s not my computer’s fault if I lose my cool. It’s my own fault. Two months ago, I bought a new charger. I electrocuted myself charging it for the first time in my house. It was a minor electrocution. I buzzed for only a second. I’m okay. The guy who sold me the charger said the charger was legit. Indonesia is known for its replications, but I wanted to believe the guy. I really had no other option, so I just learned how to not electrocute myself again.
I’m currently working on my graduate school application essays, so I need a lot of concentration on the computer. Microsoft Word will be my best friend for the next few months. All of a sudden, the A keyaa starts to malfunction. That key hasn’t been working for the past few months, so I’ve just been copying and pasting that one letter hundreds of times a day. I told a fellow volunteer, “It’s good it’s not a more used key like E or something.” She responds, “But it’s still a major letter.” We both agreed it should’ve been the Q key. I wouldn’t mind at all if it were Q.
Anyway, the past few weeks As have been appearing on my Word documents. It was surprising. I thought the same ghost that’s possessed the students at my school got a hold of my computer. My computer is possessed now. It makes concentrating really difficult because I know at any time As will join me on my exploration of why I’d make a good candidate for San Jose State University’s Speech-Language Pathology graduate program. How in the world am I supposed to focus when I think I’daaaaaaaaaa baaaaaaaaaae aaaa good candidaaaaaaaaaate for this gradaaaaaaaaaaaauate program becauseaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaI’m very oaaaaaaaaarganized and effaaaaaaaaaaaaective in aaaaaaaaaaawhaaaaat I daaaaaaaaoaaaaaa?
It’s not working for meaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aI never thought Peace Corps challenges would get at me from inside my safe space. My computer is where I’m most comfortable. I like expressing myself through my blogs. At my computer is where I reflect on my problems from the outside world.aaaaaaaaaa I usually feel safe when I reflect. I reflect only when I know I can’t be hurt. It’s genius to get me when I’m most vulnerable. Good one, Peace Corps.aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa But okay. Do your worst. It’s only going to make me stronger.aaaaaaaaaaa
I also could just get my keyboard fixed, but after that tiny electrocution, I reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally don’t want to take aaaaaaanymore chances with my physical health. Mental challenges, okay. But I have a lowaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa physical pain threshold.
I guess I just have to adda thaea backspace button to my list of best friends this year.aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Damn it!aaaa
I’m currently working on my graduate school application essays, so I need a lot of concentration on the computer. Microsoft Word will be my best friend for the next few months. All of a sudden, the A keyaa starts to malfunction. That key hasn’t been working for the past few months, so I’ve just been copying and pasting that one letter hundreds of times a day. I told a fellow volunteer, “It’s good it’s not a more used key like E or something.” She responds, “But it’s still a major letter.” We both agreed it should’ve been the Q key. I wouldn’t mind at all if it were Q.
Anyway, the past few weeks As have been appearing on my Word documents. It was surprising. I thought the same ghost that’s possessed the students at my school got a hold of my computer. My computer is possessed now. It makes concentrating really difficult because I know at any time As will join me on my exploration of why I’d make a good candidate for San Jose State University’s Speech-Language Pathology graduate program. How in the world am I supposed to focus when I think I’daaaaaaaaaa baaaaaaaaaae aaaa good candidaaaaaaaaaate for this gradaaaaaaaaaaaauate program becauseaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaI’m very oaaaaaaaaarganized and effaaaaaaaaaaaaective in aaaaaaaaaaawhaaaaat I daaaaaaaaoaaaaaa?
It’s not working for meaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aI never thought Peace Corps challenges would get at me from inside my safe space. My computer is where I’m most comfortable. I like expressing myself through my blogs. At my computer is where I reflect on my problems from the outside world.aaaaaaaaaa I usually feel safe when I reflect. I reflect only when I know I can’t be hurt. It’s genius to get me when I’m most vulnerable. Good one, Peace Corps.aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa But okay. Do your worst. It’s only going to make me stronger.aaaaaaaaaaa
I also could just get my keyboard fixed, but after that tiny electrocution, I reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally don’t want to take aaaaaaanymore chances with my physical health. Mental challenges, okay. But I have a lowaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa physical pain threshold.
I guess I just have to adda thaea backspace button to my list of best friends this year.aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Damn it!aaaa
I Choose Beyonce
After putting Ben Harper’s “Sexual Healing” on blast in the teachers’ room of my conservative Islamic middle school, I started to wonder how pessimistic I’ve become since joining Peace Corps. It’s definitely not Peace Corps’ fault. I’m here. I’m doing my job. It’s just I have seven months left, and all I can think about is getting out. Since I refuse to end my contract, I’ve turned to some self-destructive habits. A few months ago, I wrote a piece on my relationship with Wilson. Wilson is a reference to the film Cast Away in which Tom Hanks’ character develops a weird and dependent relationship with a Wilson volleyball he’s named Wilson.
I’ve removed my Wilson from my life for the past five months. It was easy. I was in a good relationship, and I was convinced I didn’t want Wilson’s attention anymore.
Last week, I spent some time with my Wilson. Things were so good. He was so sweet, so cute, and so kind. Most important, I was desperate for attention. The emotional situation after my break-up was so delicate. I could have chosen to blast some Beyoncé and run away from Wilson that day or I could have revisited an even worse situation with him.
I’m so glad I chose Beyoncé. She has saved my life more than one time in this country. That voice has the power to shake the self-destructive bullshit out of me.
I biked home. There was a baby living at my house for a few days. I love hanging out with babies. They have a similar Beyoncé-esque power to make me reprioritize and realize how stupid my past actions have been. So I just hanged out with the baby at home. He threw up on me. It was still a better time than one I’ve ever had with Wilson. I plan to choose Beyoncé each and every time. And baby vomit.
I’ve removed my Wilson from my life for the past five months. It was easy. I was in a good relationship, and I was convinced I didn’t want Wilson’s attention anymore.
Last week, I spent some time with my Wilson. Things were so good. He was so sweet, so cute, and so kind. Most important, I was desperate for attention. The emotional situation after my break-up was so delicate. I could have chosen to blast some Beyoncé and run away from Wilson that day or I could have revisited an even worse situation with him.
I’m so glad I chose Beyoncé. She has saved my life more than one time in this country. That voice has the power to shake the self-destructive bullshit out of me.
I biked home. There was a baby living at my house for a few days. I love hanging out with babies. They have a similar Beyoncé-esque power to make me reprioritize and realize how stupid my past actions have been. So I just hanged out with the baby at home. He threw up on me. It was still a better time than one I’ve ever had with Wilson. I plan to choose Beyoncé each and every time. And baby vomit.
Tuesday, October 13, 2015
Biking Therapy
A few months ago, I wrote a post about my exhaustion from biking. It was about my biking to escape my problems. It was a pretty emo post. Heavily relying on any kind of escapism is unhealthy, and I seriously want to change that habit before I go home in seven months.
I recently went on a 300km bike trip by myself. It was amazing. It was killer and made me cry and left me with bruises all up my behind, but it was awesome. The five things I learned from this trip:
1. Don’t rely on just Indomaret food
Indomaret is like a 7-Eleven. There’s a ton of sugary food to keep you satisfied, but it’s not very wholesome. Eventually, the sugary goodness will get to you, and your biking performance will suffer. Similar to when we eat only junk food while studying for a test or pull an all-nighter at work. It just doesn’t work long-term.
2. Eat even when you do not feel hungry
This is the tip I learned from a previous volunteer. She was adamant about eating lunch before noon. She said even if we don’t feel hungry, our bodies need the good calories. I completely agree. There was a three-hour frame of time when I did not feel like eating anything. I was just too tired. My stomach felt full from all the water, and I was convinced I didn’t need to eat. What a foolish mistake. I started to have some weird spiral vision when I looked down. When that happens, it’s time to eat!
3. Don’t complain to mom (thousands of miles away) about Indonesian traffic
Considering that this was a bike trip by myself, I often became lonely. I called my mom. I asked her how she was, what she was eating. When she heard all the traffic in the background, she asked where I was. I do not like lying to my mom, so I told her I was on a bike trip. Alone. Bad idea. She has rarely supported my recreational activities, excusing long-distance biking as a “boy thing.” I knew she thought she was giving me good advice, but that just made me angry. But Alhamdulillah I am wise to her antics, and slyly ended the conversation on a good note. Regardless, having a conversation with someone that does not support the mentally and physically draining thing you’re doing is not a good idea. It would be better to converse with someone that can keep your spirits up and even kick your ass when you need it to be.
4. Learn the different tire sounds vehicles make
I have wisely learned the different tire sounds of a motorcycle, car, truck, big truck, minibus, and big bus. Learn them. One second you’ll probably be too tired to look back and see how much you need to edge to the side of the road. Learning those sounds will save you the time and neck-turn energy.
5. Use the time to think of solutions to the problems in your life (don’t just escape them)
The one big problem on my mind was my World Map Project. I picked a wall at my school and started painting a huge world map on it with some students and teachers. The wall I picked is on the second floor balcony overlooking the rice fields, so I got a lot of good wind as I painted. It was an ideal art project experience. A few weeks in, we came across a snag in the process. My original plan was to forgo a blue sea background because I thought the frame was colorful enough and did not require the extra blue that could possibly overpower the calm color scheme I was aiming for.
Anyway, one of the English teachers was upset to hear I did not plan a blue background for the ocean. I tried to accommodate her and warned her that I’d be experimenting with different types of light blue that would not overpower the rest of the colors. I painted it blue the next day. She hated it. I told her it was an experiment and that I’d try again with a different shade of blue the next day. She kept complaining and it bothered me that she did not trust me to take care of this problem. For weeks she praised the work I’ve done with the students and other teachers, but she couldn’t trust me with this one hiccup?
Instead of escaping her and the problem, 50km into my bike trip I tried to plan my next steps: How to make the blue sea complementary with the other country colors and also How to blend the sea with my non-solid frame. I figured it out.
Overall, this past bike trip was great. I got a nice (farmer’s) tan and impressed those truck drivers with my awesome calf flexes. The only unfortunate thing is I immediately gained weight as soon as I got back to my village. My ibu yelled at how thinner I looked and bought all my favorite pastries. Ah! It’s good to be home.
Lastly, I’m planning another bike trip next March to Jogja if any of you want to join me. I promise I won’t eat only Snickers bars or cry hysterically during the trip.
I recently went on a 300km bike trip by myself. It was amazing. It was killer and made me cry and left me with bruises all up my behind, but it was awesome. The five things I learned from this trip:
1. Don’t rely on just Indomaret food
Indomaret is like a 7-Eleven. There’s a ton of sugary food to keep you satisfied, but it’s not very wholesome. Eventually, the sugary goodness will get to you, and your biking performance will suffer. Similar to when we eat only junk food while studying for a test or pull an all-nighter at work. It just doesn’t work long-term.
2. Eat even when you do not feel hungry
This is the tip I learned from a previous volunteer. She was adamant about eating lunch before noon. She said even if we don’t feel hungry, our bodies need the good calories. I completely agree. There was a three-hour frame of time when I did not feel like eating anything. I was just too tired. My stomach felt full from all the water, and I was convinced I didn’t need to eat. What a foolish mistake. I started to have some weird spiral vision when I looked down. When that happens, it’s time to eat!
3. Don’t complain to mom (thousands of miles away) about Indonesian traffic
Considering that this was a bike trip by myself, I often became lonely. I called my mom. I asked her how she was, what she was eating. When she heard all the traffic in the background, she asked where I was. I do not like lying to my mom, so I told her I was on a bike trip. Alone. Bad idea. She has rarely supported my recreational activities, excusing long-distance biking as a “boy thing.” I knew she thought she was giving me good advice, but that just made me angry. But Alhamdulillah I am wise to her antics, and slyly ended the conversation on a good note. Regardless, having a conversation with someone that does not support the mentally and physically draining thing you’re doing is not a good idea. It would be better to converse with someone that can keep your spirits up and even kick your ass when you need it to be.
4. Learn the different tire sounds vehicles make
I have wisely learned the different tire sounds of a motorcycle, car, truck, big truck, minibus, and big bus. Learn them. One second you’ll probably be too tired to look back and see how much you need to edge to the side of the road. Learning those sounds will save you the time and neck-turn energy.
5. Use the time to think of solutions to the problems in your life (don’t just escape them)
The one big problem on my mind was my World Map Project. I picked a wall at my school and started painting a huge world map on it with some students and teachers. The wall I picked is on the second floor balcony overlooking the rice fields, so I got a lot of good wind as I painted. It was an ideal art project experience. A few weeks in, we came across a snag in the process. My original plan was to forgo a blue sea background because I thought the frame was colorful enough and did not require the extra blue that could possibly overpower the calm color scheme I was aiming for.
Anyway, one of the English teachers was upset to hear I did not plan a blue background for the ocean. I tried to accommodate her and warned her that I’d be experimenting with different types of light blue that would not overpower the rest of the colors. I painted it blue the next day. She hated it. I told her it was an experiment and that I’d try again with a different shade of blue the next day. She kept complaining and it bothered me that she did not trust me to take care of this problem. For weeks she praised the work I’ve done with the students and other teachers, but she couldn’t trust me with this one hiccup?
Instead of escaping her and the problem, 50km into my bike trip I tried to plan my next steps: How to make the blue sea complementary with the other country colors and also How to blend the sea with my non-solid frame. I figured it out.
Overall, this past bike trip was great. I got a nice (farmer’s) tan and impressed those truck drivers with my awesome calf flexes. The only unfortunate thing is I immediately gained weight as soon as I got back to my village. My ibu yelled at how thinner I looked and bought all my favorite pastries. Ah! It’s good to be home.
Lastly, I’m planning another bike trip next March to Jogja if any of you want to join me. I promise I won’t eat only Snickers bars or cry hysterically during the trip.
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