I will work at my current job tutoring autistic children for one more month. Although I am very excited to end this chapter of my life, some part of me doesn’t want to leave the job until I’ve transformed into some sort of mental beast. What I’ve learned from tutoring autistic children:
- I am no longer fazed by a crying child
- I’m pretty adept at figuring out why a child is crying (i.e. for attention or to escape a task)
- Learning how to organize the world of chaos, according to a child, and figuring out what needs to be done, has helped organize my less chaotic life in more meaningful ways
I used to think children were the scariest kinds of people because they often act on their instincts and sometimes act aggressively when an effective form of communication has not presented itself in times of deep emotion. We are taught to deal with our frustration and anxiety by using our words to express how we feel. Children are still learning how to do this and are, therefore, more prone to reacting physically to their emotions. Learning to interpret physical action as a cry for help or for something else proved challenging my first months on the job. But it did get easier as I learned to understand emotions in terms of pictures, rather than words. Then it was easier to respond to the children once I understood what they were trying to express in their own way.
I would imagine that mental beasts break communication barriers and easily find an access point to channel both what the person is trying to convey and what the mental beast chooses to respond. Though I haven’t yet donned the coveted role of mental beast, I do respond less negatively in times of crisis. But I wonder how much better I’d understand children that have an everyday struggle with expressing themselves if I stayed longer.
Regardless, maybe it’s time for a new struggle. Maybe moving to Kenya will provide me with another awesome opportunity to accept different forms of communication and learn to communicate in response.
