Before moving here, I never realized the high market value Americans have. I get a lot of positive attention just for being American. Some days the attention makes me feel like a mascot or a pet, but overall it’s been a good experience.
Although I have to say that all the attention is giving me a major ego trip. As a result, I run mostly on adrenalin for the bulk of the day. It’s great. I feel so alive. I’m able to push myself to do things I wouldn’t normally have the courage to do. But then comes the time of day when the adrenalin wears off. Then it’s time to reflect. It typically goes like this:
The time is flying so fast! I’ve been in Indonesia for nearly seven months. What have I accomplished? Why am I still here? What are my intentions? Are my dreams for making the world a better place foolish?
But the reflection typically turns positively. I’ve met so many good people here. I’ve found a new best friend that noticed I was so shy when I first arrived at permanent site. He gave me motivation and strength and continues to do so every day.
Realizing that I’ve made a connection like that usually ends my sour reflection and lets me go to sleep. The next morning the adrenalin runs high again, and it all cycles again. It’s a vicious cycle.
I know I have the power to balance out my emotions. The time is moving so fast, so I hope I can figure this all out before my last day in Indonesia. A quote I have to tell myself every time my mood turns sour:
“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.”
