Content

Tonight I had the good fortune of being alone at school, smoking underneath a fan, and listening to Adele on my laptop. I was so at peace I didn’t know if I was happy or sad.

I texted this to my friend, and she responded:

“It sounds peaceful. Just be content.”

I’m pretty content in my village. I think I’ve integrated well and have developed good relationships with my community members. As Peace Corps volunteers, we have lifestyle restrictions. We need to be respectful of Indonesian culture. For the most part, it’s made me evaluate the things that matter most. I’ve simplified my life through this experience.

On the other hand, I’m constantly worried if what I’m doing is culturally appropriate while at the same time trying to keep my American values. As a result, I don’t get to experience a lot of peace within myself. I want to be a good volunteer, and I also want to be true to myself. So when I do get those few chances to do exactly what I want and feel comfortable doing it, I feel a bit uneasy.

But tonight I pushed a few chairs together underneath the fan, lay down on the chairs, and lit a cigarette. My iTunes playlist went to Adele’s “First Love,” and I could hear the rain outside. Only the security was at school, so it was quiet. It was peaceful. And since it was peaceful, I had the opportunity to just daydream. I felt a bit uneasy, but I let my mind wander. It was the most relaxing ten minutes I’ve had in a long time. I daydreamed and felt at ease. So I guess I can call that content. 

Mutual Respect

During my Islamic middle school’s trip to Bali, one of my English teachers said he felt very disrespected by the behavior of the foreigners. They wear bikinis, drink alcohol, and engage in inappropriate physical behavior with each other.

Before coming to Indonesia, I didn’t know this was a very conservative culture. I’m still surprised by how conservative it is, and I’ve been living here for a year. Furthermore, before moving to our respective villages, the Peace Corps volunteers were educated about the Indonesian education system and its culture for three months, yet many of us are still adjusting. My English teacher, who I consider a close friend, said foreigners should research and see what’s appropriate in Indonesia before coming here. I told him:

“I’ve been living here for a year and am still confused by what’s appropriate, and my job is to figure out how to integrate. How can you expect better from a tourist whose main goal is to enjoy life the way he or she knows how?”

That leads to my point: the foreigners in Bali are tourists. They are on vacation. Bali caters to the Western lifestyle, so Westerners will be attracted to vacationing there. They most likely don’t know when they are being disrespectful to the Indonesian culture.

The same applies to my time here. There are some Indonesian behaviors that I consider disrespectful to my culture. Eastern and Western cultures are incredibly different, and that’s okay. But it does prove challenging when I face situations that make me feel incredibly disrespected that I want to go home. Things I consider incredibly private and taboo are openly discussed here. It’s my job to try to understand and accept the differences. It’s not my job to judge or change.

I expressed to my English teacher that I try really hard to understand cultural behaviors foreign to me, and I expect him to try to understand that the foreigners in Bali don’t know they’re being disrespectful the same way Indonesians don’t know they’re being disrespectful to me unless I tell them.

We can’t hate people for being ignorant. We should, instead, use that opportunity to understand that difference isn’t bad. Difference is great, and understanding difference is respectful.