Fantasies of a Treadmill Enthusiast . . . Or Attempted Enthusiast

I started going to the gym again. Since I’m a part-time tutor, I thought I should work on goals I gave less priority to before, especially in the transition to starting the toughest job I’ll ever love. Physical improvement seemed like the most practical goal to work on since I assume physical fitness and strength would make it easier living without all my coveted amenities. But I’ve been having trouble staying motivated on the treadmill, so I’ve compiled a list of fantasies that help get me going.

The standard fantasy of anyone chasing me is guaranteed to get my butt moving. For example:

1. I’m a piece of chocolate cake and that large boy from Matilda is coming at me with his already chocolate-greased fingers.

I think this is a healthy scenario because it’s not only entertaining, but also it forces me to improve my running gait because it’s a life or death situation.

2. I’m the guitarist in Lady Gaga’s band, and she yells out, “Come on!” while swinging her Christmas tree clad arm for me to keep my pace. 

I love Lady Gaga. So I would, of course, love her alternatively clad arm beckoning me to rhythm.

Then there are the more unhealthy ones:

3. My best friend hits on the guy I like.

I think this is an unhealthy one because it puts me in a position to be in competition with my best friend who is a girl. Girls have been raised to be in competition with other girls for other boys, jobs, or opportunities. Only when I’m really aching for a good run do I indulge in my jealousy. But the great run typically ends with a bitter taste in my mouth. So only if your moral compass is lax would I suggest this one.

4. Having my imaginary boyfriend break up with me because he thinks I’m too fat.

Again, this is an unhealthy fantasy but also kind of empowering because the burst of energy I’d get from his declaration would go toward telling him off rather than working hard on the treadmill to please him. I typically don’t tell people off or curse, so once I finally find the appropriate turn of phrase and mix of obscenity, the result can be quite empowering.

Overall, I think all energy can be channeled in a positive way. Whether it comes from positive or negative thinking, energy is what you make of it.