Boldness

The drivers here are bold. They weave in and out of lanes, sometimes floating in between. I’ve never seen anything like it. And despite the chaos, no driver seems anxious or nervous. I guess weaving in and out of lanes, grazing the shirtsleeves of pedestrians, becomes second nature at an early age. Adding an extra level to their coolness, they don’t seem to worry about losing that control.

It reminds me of the scene in the film American Hustle where Sydney Prosser talks about the boldness that comes from dancing:

“[Dancing in a strip club] can feel kind of sexy sometimes. There was a boldness in it. But where would that boldness take me? I didn’t know, but I was gonna find out.”

Although I have no dancing or performing arts experience, I can relate to the sentiment. Indonesian drivers and Sydney Prosser seem to have that boldness in common. They both seem to know exactly what they’re doing. At the starting point of reflecting if I’m good enough to be a full-fledged volunteer, I ask:

Do situations drive human behavior and attitude or does attitude drive the success of situations?

On one hand, situations can drive attitude. Sometimes people display acts of courage when they have no one else to rely on. When I moved out of my parents’ house, living independently came easier than expected because I stopped relying on my parents to solve my problems. When people are expected to perform, they usually muster up the courage to do so.

On the other hand, attitude can drive situations. One approach to finding the right attitude is through context. Everyone has experiences in which he or she feels bold. Depending on the people or the demands of the situation, I adjust my boldness-meter to fit the needs of the day. But because I’ve never experienced anything quite like living and working in another country, I wonder if that strategy applies here.

In the States, I’m able to turn my boldness-meter up and down based on social cues and rules. However, the rules are different here and hence, strategies will have to be disregarded or modified. In other words, my boldness-meter will need to be recalibrated to appropriately assess an Indonesian social climate.

In Sydney’s case, the opportunity to be a master con artist inspired the courage she needed to perform, and the coping skills attained from past situations enabled the smooth and successful transition. Sydney was able to transfer her boldness from the dancing spotlight to the business arena. Will I be able to strut myself the same way?

Perhaps success of anything requires a bit of both perspectives. A demanding situation could inspire courage, and courage ingrained and practiced from past adverse situations can easily promote success.

Perhaps I need to be more like those Indonesian drivers that weave in and out of lanes. Those drivers let the current of traffic move them as well as actively push through it. They create that balance of waiting to be inspired and using skills to accomplish goals. I’m finally embarking on the adventure I’ve wanted since I was 17. My desire to have this adventure has a boldness in it. But where would that boldness take me? Indonesia, here I am. We’ll see where it takes me . . . and where I take it.