Just Say No

I’ve always had a hard time saying no. It’s not that those elementary school D.A.R.E classes on just saying no to drugs didn’t help. They did. I attribute my very limited drug addictions to the success of those classes. The problem is I don’t know how to say no to certain people. I am not necessarily a people pleaser, but I feel obligated to say yes, especially to those I admire.

Last week, a teacher at my Islamic middle school asked me to teach his class for him. My first thought was, not surprisingly, “Well I guess I can try.” He’s a good teacher. I’m sure he’s missing class for an important reason. I was ready to say yes, but what came out was, “No.” That was a surprise. Why didn’t I say yes?

Looking back, of course I should have said no. No preparation and expecting me to teach? I don’t pick rabbits out of my hat anymore.

In the beginning of my Peace Corps service, I tried so hard to please people. I devoted to the Yes Man philosophy. This was a new chapter in my life, and I wanted to make the absolute best of it. For the most part, it has helped shape my current good experiences. But in some ways the Yes Man philosophy harmed my development because I wasn’t saying yes to just open up to new opportunities; sometimes I was saying yes to avoid confrontation.

At this time, I’m more comfortable saying no. I mean there will definitely be instances when I can’t say no. No one’s perfect. I still have so many problems, so many vices.

One of my high school teachers said the age range that I’m currently in is the time when people figure out themselves. We figure out how we operate and learn how to test our limits. As nice as that sounds, I don’t think I’m fully there yet. Not yet. But at least I can say for sure that I’m better at saying no, and knowing that makes a big difference.