Wilson

As much as I’ve developed professionally here, I’m still dealing with the same personal problem. In the film Cast Away, Tom Hanks’ character gets stranded on an island by himself. His only companion is a Wilson volleyball that he names “Wilson.” His friendship with Wilson is explained by desperation. There is no other person on this island with him, and he personifies the volleyball and develops a complex relationship with it.

I want to preface that I’m not comparing my Peace Corps service to being stranded on a deserted island by myself. I have plenty of support here and at home. I am also not comparing the person I’ve identified as my Wilson as being less than human. But I have developed a complex relationship with a Wilson that has harmed as well as improved my overall service.

I found my Wilson eight months ago. The ways Wilson has harmed my service:

• Avoiding certain areas of school so that I wouldn’t have to run into Wilson and in turn, not being able to socialize with certain people 
• Getting unreasonably sad every time Wilson neglects me 
• Causing me to develop an unhealthy relationship with him, a community member I’m supposed to serve as part of my service 

The ways Wilson has improved my service:

• Allowing me to explore past my comfort zone in terms of personal relationships 
• Helping me improve my Indonesian language skills 
• Keeping me busy with other activities in the community in trying to avoid interaction 

For the past eight months, I’ve been debilitated by this relationship. There have been many good experiences with Wilson, and many bad. I quickly learned how to control my destructive outward feelings towards Wilson, but it’s all still there internally.

There’s only 14 months left of my service. If I were to choose to extend a third year, my Wilson would be a major factor in the final decision. I still feel successful as a Peace Corps volunteer. Wilson doesn’t change that. I’m doing things I never thought I could do. I feel like a leader here. I fully intend to continue that feeling back home, but am I willing to prolong this relationship? I don’t know. I just know that I’m excited for the opportunity for Wilson to cast away from my life the way he did for Tom Hanks’ character. It’ll be an incredibly sad moment to see Wilson float away from my life raft, but I’ll be entirely ready when he does. Because when he does, it means that I’ll finally be able to escape the island.