Ibu Network

One aspect of Indonesian life I struggle acclimating to is the Ibu Network. For example, my Ibu (host mother) knows about my day before I have the chance to tell her about my day. News – not even exciting news – travels faster than my legs. So I’m not surprised when I come home from training and am immediately victim to a recap of everything I did and ate that day.

That’s insane to me. How does she know everything?

Furthermore, it makes me uncomfortable when people who aren’t in charge of making my schedule know about my schedule before I do. But I guess that’s a cultural thing I have to accept? It’s my Ibu’s way of showing that she cares. She invades my privacy only because she wants what’s best for me. Privacy is a foreign concept to my Ibu. It doesn’t exist the same way it exists in the States. Therefore, her presence and influence is ubiquitous.

Although it can often be a pain to have that constant attention, it can sometimes be pleasant. For example, one of my favorite things to do is to watch people iron clothes. I’ve yet to discover why it relaxes me, but it’s one of the coping strategies I rely on while in country. And since ironing is an important activity in my Ibu’s daily schedule, I take the time to watch her iron clothes because it triggers both nostalgia and relaxation.

In addition, my Ibu can be the sweetest person. She surprised me one morning with my favorite sandwich: grilled cheese, banana, and peanut butter. She’s convinced that I can’t be well fed without rice, yet she still made the sandwich for me because I said it was my favorite. She sure knows how to pull at them heart strings. It meant a lot to me despite her trying to force rice down my throat immediately afterward.

There are definitely benefits to engaging with this kind of overbearing culture. It may be frustrating sometimes. It may be suffocating. But for the next two years, I’m willing to readjust my definition of privacy to accommodate her cultural needs. I will try to appreciate her methods and what they mean. It’s worth it because I receive so much in return. I will try to appreciate her. And although I’m still unable to stop her from ironing my underwear in front of me, I will try to appreciate her.