Forgetting English

We’re all required to take malaria medication as Peace Corps volunteers in Indonesia. We are given two options. One option makes me vomit every morning; the other gives me vivid dreams. Since I’d rather not vomit every morning, I now go on magical adventures almost every night.

Most of the dreams are about humdrum everyday life, but they are colorful, vivid, and therefore memorable. Then there are some dreams that border on aggressive and violent themes.

In one of the more aggressive dreams, I forgot English when I returned to America. I became an outcast and was exiled back to a small island in Indonesia. Although this seems more comical than aggressive, it was terrifying to be incompetent at something in which I had assumed fluency.

A current volunteer said volunteers typically return to the States and kind of snap back to their usual selves but with some noticeable differences. Forgetting English better not be one of my noticeable differences.

The dream was particularly aggressive to my emotional well being because not remembering English totally took away from my roots. I had no support in America anymore, and I had no support in Indonesia because not knowing English meant I was no longer considered an American.

And it didn’t help that I woke up from the dream laughing out loud. The strange thing is I don’t know if the medication caused that or if growing paranoid and a bit crazed is a typical Peace Corps milestone.